I am sometimes criticized (justifiably so I might add at times) for not being better about multi-tasking. Yet what most people can’t see is that I am multi-tasking much of the time. There is the task people see (driving, eating, working, cleaning, etc.) and there is also the constant battle that I have against my demons. And I suspect it is the same case for many of us who live with mental illness.
Because managing my mental illness isn’t just going to my therapist appointments and taking my medication. On the contrary, that is just on piece of the puzzle that is my strategy for managing my mental illness. Another piece is mindfulness, lest the darkness creep up more often, like I talked about yesterday. And that is constantly dragging some of my attention away from the present moment. And sometimes when I overburden myself, when I don’t leave myself enough bandwidth to take care of myself and be mindful of my mental illness, it causes a crash of sorts related to my mental health.
And because of my social anxiety this is especially true when I am forced to be around people often. It leaves me raw and I struggle even more to manage my mental illness. Managing my social anxiety is particularly taxing and makes it hard to do more than just what is right in front of me.
I always bounce back. Every time that I have over balanced myself and my darkness has knocked me down, I’ve managed to get back up. And while that is a hopeful point to end on, it isn’t the point of this post. The point of this post is simply to raise awareness that just because someone seems to struggle with multi-tasking, doesn’t mean they aren’t managing more than just what you can see. Battling my demons is a constant task that I have to juggle with everyday adulting tasks and I know I am not alone in that challenge. All I ask, all that anyone can ask, is that when someone isn’t as good at multi-tasking or as quick as you, be kind. They might be handling more than you know.