The Fog

Some of you might have noticed a slow down in my posting the last week or so. Part of this was a real struggle with writer’s block, but as I’ve posted before, I try to write through writer’s block if possible, even if whatever comes out isn’t any good. At least it will get the creative juices going. Hopefully. Anyway this post isn’t about writer’s block and I’m getting off track.

The real reason I’ve struggle to post this week, the last several weeks in fact, is that I have been fucking exhausted. Yes, I probably should get more sleep during the week, but that isn’t the reason I’ve been so tired. Ever since I started taking my new meds, drowsiness, which is one of the side effects, has been kicking my ass.

It has been a different kind of tired. A zombifying-esque kind of tired that has forced me to push myself through each day.

My depression already brings with it its own exhaustion, especially when it fucks with my sleep the night before. This med just seems to add to that exhaustion. Hopefully, it will just be a matter of my body adjusting to the new med, or my doctor adjusting my dose when I have my next follow up. The Lexipro does seem to take a bit of the edge off my anxiety, even though symptoms definitely remain, otherwise I would have stopped the meds to avoid this all consuming exhaustion. Now it is just a matter of finding the right balance.

But for now the most I can do is be honest about the latest twist I am experiencing in this struggle. I know that meds like this one can have frustrating side effects with them, so this isn’t surprising, even if it is frustrating. Because that is one of the many awful things about mental health issues, even the treatments and tools you use bring their own challenges. Yet the tagline for this blog remains true: the demons of mental illness hate having their story told. Whether it is the story of the struggle of facing those demons head on, or the challenges that accompany the tools you use to fight them, the most I, the most anyone can be, is honest.

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