As I’ve been talked about recently, recovery from mental illnesses takes time, happens in layers, and is painful. It is also held back by lies. For me, it has been held back by depression’s lies and my own lies.
Depression’s lies are the ones that keep me in the darkness. They are the ones that say I am no good, that I will never be any good. They are the ones that say that I am a burden to everyone in my life. They are the ones that say that the isolation I felt when I was young was my fault.
However, there are also lies that I tell myself. The lies I tell myself are the ones that I use to avoid taking responsibility for the actions that I took when depressed. The lies I tell myself are the ones that I tell myself to avoid admitting blame to myself or others, for fear that my depression will convince me it is my fault, for fear that it will cause people to abandon me.
Yet no one expects me to be perfect. And I’m willing to bet people don’t expect you to be perfect. And if they do expect that, maybe it is time to ask if they are a good influence on your mental health. Feeling like you have to be perfect is the perfect fuel for the lies that come from depression and the lies that come from ourselves. For me, breaking that cycle has meant allowing myself to be vulnerable. It has also revealed the lies and all their falsehoods. Being vulnerable and opening up has allowed me to discover that rather than leaving me, people will instead be there to support you when you are open and honest about your struggles.
As I’ve said before, the demons of mental illness hate when you shine a light on them. And there is no better way to do that than to stop depression’s lies and stop your lies.