Yesterday, I talked about my no good, very bad morning. And while much of it was bad luck, part of it was my fault. Part of it was me setting myself up for that no good, very bad day.
And to understand this, we have to rewind to the night before, when my anxiety was doing a drum solo that was keeping me awake the night before. Despite my anxiety, I could have tried going to bed and could have taken certain steps to set myself up for greater success with sleep. Yet I sometimes use my anxiety and depression as an excuse for not making smarter sleep choices. Or else maybe I decide that since I am anyway I will have one more glass of beer. None of these are smart decisions.
They are decisions that get easier to make for one reason or another because of my depression and anxiety, but the fact of the matter is I am still the one making them.
So when I talk about being honest during those no good, very bad days, part of that means recognizing that sometimes we have days where luck isn’t our side and that isn’t our fault. Yet it also means that luck aside we could make better habits, habits that might help keep the depression and anxiety at bay instead of keeping them inside our heads as we watch the night tick away and make bad choices that might just lead to bad days.
I am trying to be more responsible about my depression and anxiety. That means being honest about it, both for better or worse. And that means being honest about when I set myself up for a bad day so that maybe I will learn from it.
And then maybe I can set myself up for better.
Happy Friday everyone.
The Dark Tales Project 