It is cliched, but it is true. Honesty is the best policy, especially with yourself.

Of course, it is challenging to be honest with yourself. Sometimes I think it is far more difficult than being honest with others. If you are like me, you might be your own harshest critic. Yet when you pause to ask yourself why you can’t treat yourself with the same compassion you show to others when they are less than perfect (and let’s admit it, everyone is less than perfect), chances are you have a hard time answering that. For me, and many others I’ve talked to that is as much the demon of depression as it is our own self-view. Yet being honest with yourself means not listening to depression’s whispers.

Of course, being honest with yourself can also mean admitting to yourself all those challenges and flaws that you want to ignore. For example, my fear of abandonment constantly has me avoiding responsibility for my own mistakes, even as my depression beats me up over them. I am so afraid that if I admit that I made a mistake, that if I admit my shortcomings, everyone will look down upon me and leave me. Of course, it hasn’t happened yet. And if you face similar fears, try being honest with yourself about the fact that it probably hasn’t happened to you either.

Being honest with ourselves is hard, but it is also an essential part of self-care and recovery. It helps us be our most authentic self, which in my experience tends to attract more authentic people to you. Scratch that, it attracts the kind of people who are meant to you be in your life. I sincerely believe that.

It is hard. And trust me, it won’t happen overnight. Almost ten years of therapy and I am still struggling with it. Yet I see in the steps I’ve already taken hope. I see light cutting through the darkness. And if being honest with yourself is something you struggle with, I hope that for you too.

Thank you for reading.

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