When The Bad Things Happen During Depression

I recently wrote over on the Daddying with Depression blog about how all the worrying I do because of my anxiety and depression doesn’t stop my toddler from occasionally taking a tumble as she learns the finer points of walking. While I protect her from big falls and ouchies, I can’t stop every little stumble. And similarly, all the coping strategies and self-care tools I have for my anxiety and depression don’t stop bad things from happening. I still spill coffee on myself. I still get stuck waiting for a freight train to cross when I am already late. It still rains on my metaphorical parade (always when I forget my raincoat or umbrella). And sometimes my depression whispers that these things are my fault. Sometimes I think that I can’t give in to feeling upset about things going wrong. But that is not true. When bad things happen during depression it is okay to feel your feelings about them.

Overcoming depression isn’t about never letting yourself feel down. Normal human emotions include negative ones. On the contrary, what I’ve learned in my journey in recovery is that recovery is about allowing yourself to feel healthy emotions, emotions that are in touch with what is happening in your life, as opposed to depression which always keeps you in the dark.

And the thing that some people might not expect is that sometimes the everyday troubles and challenges are a welcome change from the darkness and depths of a serious depressive episode. Sometimes I feel fortunate when I can experience emotions, both good and bad, that are untainted and untouched by the shadows of depression. Because any steps forward in recovery are welcome for me, even if those steps include the bad things that sometimes happened during depression’s darkness.

Thanks for reading.

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