It is once again Monday. Much to the dismay of most working professionals and students. And today, I am having a really hard time telling what kind of tired I am.
Am I just tired from a very full weekend? Or maybe it is tired because I didn’t sleep well? Hopefully, it isn’t depression-tired, which is all-consuming and can last for days. But on Mondays, it can be hard to tell.
Because today isn’t the first Monday I’ve run into this problem. Sure, each one is a little different. Busy weekend tired and depression tired are felt in my whole body, but only depression tired fogs my brain and saps my energy. Didn’t sleep well tired can also sap my energy, but I feel it more behind the eyes than in the body. Yet Mondays seem to be the perfect day for multiple types of tired to converge on one another, which is why it can be so damn hard to tell the difference.
Part of it too is that I always dread the return of the depression, and am constantly hyper-vigilant, too much so in fact, about the possibility of it returning. And this is another of the not-so-awesome things about depression; the fact that it can sneak up on you so easily that a normal human condition, like being tired on a Monday, can make you concerned about depression’s dark return.
And I don’t necessarily have a point, other than to vent about being tired because, for better or worse, that is what people seem to do on Mondays. But also, I wanted, as is so often the case, to let others out there who are struggling to identify their fatigue, to know that they aren’t alone.
Here is hoping everyone has a safe and, if necessary, restful Monday. Thanks for reading.