This past weekend, I spent some time attempting to water ski. It was not my first attempt at water skiing, nor will it be my last. And I say attempt because thus far I have not succeeded in standing up, although I am still quite sore from my attempts, which seems unfair, but that is another story.
I think my problem is that I overthink things while trying to get up on the skis. Should my legs be more bent? Let the boat pull me but also pull back against the boat? What am I supposed to do when and if I stand up again?
And I think that I overthink things partly from the feedback I’ve gotten from family members who do know how to ski and partly because I often think that I am overthinking things. Yet maybe learning to stand on skis is just something you do. After all, I don’t think babies overthink walking, they just slowly learn to do it.
And learning to stand after a bout of depression or anxiety can have me facing similar challenges. I overthink my recovery, thinking I need to be doing more, or that I need to be doing less, thinking that I am ready to get back out into the scary, scary world even if I am not actually ready for that yet. Maybe I can impart some of the lessons of life, or in this case learning to stand, to the recovery I work so hard to maintain.
And maybe if I am successful I will find myself standing more and being sore less.