I talk a lot on this site about the darkness of mental illness and the light that works its way in during recovery. Yet I think that eventually recovery is meant to merge the light and the darkness.
Merging the light and darkness, in my mind, means recognizing that you will have bad days, no matter how far you’ve come in your recovery. Despite all the treatment options that are out there, there is no cure for the darkness. Not yet anyway. And there is a silver lining to that reality.
The silver lining is that when I first come out of the darkness, even the faintest flicker is bright. Ordinary experiences become extraordinary and great experiences become irreplaceable stars, burning brilliantly in my mind’s sky. And when the darkness returns, those stars will still twinkle, no matter how distant they seem. Those stars will be a reminder that there is a way out of the darkness, I’ve been there before and I will be there again.
Merging the light and the dark means being able to reject the lies of my mental illness that tell me I am worthless. It means being able to admit openly and honestly when I need help because I am in the darkness. It means recognizing that both the light and dark are part of who I am. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for the depression and anxiety that I spent so long trying to hide from and deny.
I can merge my light and dark sides. And so can you.
Have a great weekend everyone.