Last week, my Apple Watch stopped counting the calories I was burning and stopped communicating with my iPhone. I recognized right away the ridiculousness of getting upset at what is, admittedly, the firstest of first world problems. And on other days, it probably wouldn’t have impacted me quite so much. However, last week, and to a lesser extent this week, I’ve been fighting off a minor depression.
It isn’t the knock-me-down-can’t-get-out-of-bed depression that is so awful, and which leaves me exhausted during and after, literally incapable of mustering the energy to do anything. No, this minor depression was more like the weariness at the end of a long day, the pessimism of a Red Sox fan pre-2004 when you just knew the Sox would find a way to lose. It was tiring, but I was still able to make it through my day and still able to complete the workout I planned, only to have my watch not cooperate.
And when I am in these minor depressions, or minor anxious spells, these little things that go wrong seem to be my fault, and the seem like they will inevitably lead to bigger problems and bigger problems, which is why I feel like I have to address these problems right away, even if logically, I know they aren’t a very big deal.
And there should be no shame in admitting that. The problem wasn’t important, but my reaction to that problem, even if that reaction were solely because of having an “off” day in my mental health recovery, was important.
And that is my point, the point about this minor rant about the most minor, firstest of first world problems, which is that your feelings matter because you matter. It is okay to not be okay, but trying to control your emotional responses through pure force of will will get you no where good. Only by allowing yourself to feel your feelings can you begin to process them and move on.
Well, that and resetting your watch so that it starts working again.