I am anxious about being a failure. My impostor syndrome convinces me that I am already a failure, even though I push back against those lies. Nevertheless, the possibility of failure gives me constant anxiety. Unfortunately, though, I often set myself up for failure.
And first of all, I know that no one likes failure. Yet failure is a necessary way for us to learn. Second of all, I set myself up for failure by focusing so much on the negative. My anxiety causes me to focus on failure, and when I spend so much time focusing on failures, focusing on the negative, I am likely to set myself up for a negative outcome.
Maybe that negative outcome isn’t necessarily failing at a given task. Maybe it is simply not trying. Maybe it is failing before I even start.
I focus on the ways that my mental illness has held me back. I focus on the failures that have darkened my past, the people who have left me. And this prevents me from focusing on the future, on the possibilities I have before me, and the people I might meet.
Realizing that I am holding myself back, that I am setting myself up for failure, that is the first step to succeeding. So hopefully, moving forward, I can be mindful of that and stop setting myself up for failure. And hopefully, this post is also helpful for you if you find yourself constantly focusing on the failures of the past.