Progress vs. Procrastination

Coming into this week I had a list of things I wanted to get done. Then my physical and mental health both took a bit of a turn and thus far many of the things on my to-do list remain undone. And this isn’t the first time I have dealt with this.

I’ve noticed that when I am not battling through a depressive episode, that is to say when I am healthy, I tend to be very productive.  When I am not doing so well, less so. And while this is likely true for many people, the problem I run into is that projects I start when I am feeling good end up half-completed or worse by the time my mental health takes a turn, leaving me with a lot of half-finished projects and not a lot of energy to spare.

This, in turn, then feeds the negative feedback loop that is my depression. I can’t complete the tasks I set out for myself, so my mental illness lies and says that means I am worthless, useless, a complete waste of space. These are just lies and the better I learn how to manage my depression the better I am able to reject them. Yet that doesn’t help me deal with my unfinished projects.

For that, I need patience and compassion. The patience to know that whatever physical or mental health issue I am battling through will eventually pass. And the compassion to accept that it is okay that I am not always the most productive person. I am me. And after all battling mental illnesses takes a lot of energy.

I get the sense from comments I have heard from others who battle the darkness that I am not the only one that struggles with this, so wherever you are and whatever you are going through, I hope you will remember to treat yourself with just as much compassion and patience. And until next time, be well.

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