Hide and Seek with My Demons

In the past year, I’ve been working very hard on mindfulness, on my therapy, and on untangling the roots of my mental health struggles. And as I get closer to shining a light on my demons, they seem elusive, and I find myself trapped in a game of hide and seek with my demons. And unfortunately they like to make mischief while they’re hiding.

The causes of my struggles seem to have their own defense mechanisms, and the closer I get to understanding them and learning how to change my behavior, the deeper into my mind they go, triggering depressive episodes and an anxiety that I won’t ever be better. And maybe I’ll never be rid of my depression and anxiety completely, but I am getting better. And I’ll continue to get better. My mental health demons can’t hide forever, no matter how good they are at it. And they are good at it.

They are good at it because they move around so much. A medicine that works for you now might stop working in the future. Similarly, therapies and coping mechanisms that worked in the past might prove ineffective someday.

And that is why talking about it, shining a light on the demons of mental illness is so important. Because while those demons are good at hiding, they can’t hide how you feel, and how you react to their mischief.

  • Talking about it weakens the stigma that demons can hide behind.
  • Talking about it encourages others to do the same.
  • Talking about it makes it harder for your demons to hide.
  • Talking about it invites others to help you win the game of hide and seek you have with your demons.

In short, talking about it is important, so that is what I will continue to do. Because that is the best weapon I have in the never ending game of hide and seek I have going with my demons.  

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